Spoiler Alert!?

(I guess I should warn you that this might contain a spoiler or two-but you should already be aware of them.)

I hate it when people ruin a surprise. The ultimate was during a speech class. We were giving a Short subject (2-3 minute) speech on "Pet Peeves". I can't remeber what my subject was, but I remember about 20 seconds of someone else's. It went something like:

How many of you have seen "The Sixth Sense"?

(a little more than half of the class raises their hands)

Well how many of you already knew that BRUCE WILLIS WAS DEAD!? Someone told me before, blah blah blah. . .

The Sixth Sense had just left the theaters. I had missed it, but had every intention of watching it as soon as it came out on video. I just watched that movie for the first time about two months ago-and I'm pissed off all over again. I think the title of that speech Should have been "My Pet Peeve, ME!" HelllOOooo! You just ruined the movie for at least 20 people that I could see, SHIT. Moron.

Anyway, the reason for the Fantastic Four. I was reading an article about Jessica Alba and her role in "Into the Blue". First of all someone was questioning why she spent most of the movie in a bikini. I havn't seen the movie-but from what the trailers have indicated I think it was much more logical than, say, a parka. Yes it shows off her body, woop-de-doo, most bathing suits do. And in a movie so centered around the ocean, bathing suits of one or two peices make the most sense.

At the end of the Article they mentioned that she had been signed up for two more "Fantastic Four" movies. With this:
"SPOILER ALERT!!!
They get married"

Now, I appriciate the effort, but. . . isn't that something that every drooling fanboy who went to see the movie already knew? I think I knew that she was Reed's wife before I knew that she was Johnny's sister.

And thanks to my husband I will spend another day with "Dress to Kill" running through my head.

Wish I was "Running, jumping, climbing trees, putting on makeup when you get up into them."

If You Don't Know

People who fight fire with fire usually end up with ashes.-Abigail Van Buren


So I played Texas Hold 'Em for the first time last night. I'll give it some time before it's just something I do to make my husband happy. After all, my problem seemed to be that most of my hands either sucked outright, or just weren't quite good enough. The one hand I did win was of a decent size though. Oh, wait, I won another. Everyone else folded after looking at their hand.

Yup, I'm good. :P

Cheeseish

How can you breathe in that cloud of hate?

I just wonder sometimes, ya know? Why is everyone more interested in their own political agenda then in what is going on? Don't you think more might get done if people stopped screaming at each other about who did or didn't do what for which reason and just worked on making things better for everyone?

But I guess that's true everywhere. Honestly, what good is camping on the side of the road going to do anyone? All I have seen is someone who has found an original method for gaining their 15 minutes of Fame. They might feel strongly about whatever it is, but wasn't there a more effective/less public way to serve their ideals? This was not an issue that was going unnoticed by the public-it was just a way for YOU to get on TV.

What is really sad to me, is that a person who wrote a book that called attention to a travesty mostly unknown to our generation, was given a tiny blurb on her death. I don't remember the date, but I cut out the one inch wide, four line long notice, and taped it on the inside cover of my copy of "The Rape of Nanking". Iris Chang committed suicide-did you notice? Have you even heard of the event? Probably not. That was something to be upset about. I think that Japan has just started apologizing for their war crimes in the last few months-maybe they'll mention it by name.

No Cheese

Gene Pool Lifegaurd

I don't want to be thought creul, but. . . I don't know, if a puppy swallows a 13 inch long serrated knife something's wrong. Suicidal puppy or natural selection at work?

All Done (no cheese)

So the show that Rich and I were doing together ended last night. It doesn't destroy me the way it did years ago, maybe it's because I know that it won't be too long before I do another one. Or that I actually continue to go out with my favorite people after the show is over. If you've never been on stage in a play (though I know that most of the people who would read my blog are involved in the theater) its not something that is easy to describe. But I do recommend it, an dbeing in a production doesn't necessarliy mean being on stage. There is always need for someone able to help out backstage. The only thing that really disappoints me is the way last night ended. I guess we just had so much fun on Friday night that it couldn't really compare. It was just sad to see everyone go their seperate ways so quickly after it ended-I mean the UNO tournament only went on the first night, and then the people most involved never stuck around. Ok, so I'm bummed.

We were asked to consider doing another show at the Empire theater but I don't think that I'll be able to. RIGHT before my husband called with that news I recieved a call from my choir director. I enjoy acting, but I have very little confidence in my abilities. Whereas when it comes to singing in a choir I know that I have value. I'm not the best soloist-at least in the sense that I didn't become the operatic singer that my instructors wanted me to. But I know how to blend and support a note which is invaluable in groups. I've only been a member of this choir since around the beginning of March, and I know that no-one is going to throw someone the don't know into a position of responsiblity when they have people they've known for years. So it means a lot to me to be asked to do this, especially since they've hardly seen me this summer, between the break we took (if I'm not supposed to sing it's not easy to get me to church on Sunday morning) and not being able to show up to practice because of rehersals for the show. It surprised me that I was asked at all. Besides, I really miss singing.

But in REALLY good news, Mom took a shower this morning! Yay! I just hope she's also wearing clean clothes. In so many ways I'm really tired of this, it's not fair to any of us, especially her. But there's not really anything we can do. Except maybe try to get her to eat a decent meal once a day. How do you deal with this? I'm just sick and angry-and I don't care if you think being angry is right, or if you think of me as weak for being disgusted by watching her eat, or drink. No one who is not directly involved has a right to judge me. and just because you live here doesn't mean that you understand. I hate this.

No cheese

I wish I were having more fun

So I added a whole bunch of new links on the sidebar. Mostly additional comics :)

I love this bear-it was going to be my profile pix until I stole the "kitty with a gun" from my brother.

n-e-way gotta get back to work

Cheese!

Surviving

Pain nourishes courage. You can't be brave if you've only had wonderful things happen to you.-Mary Tyler Moore



I am a stronger person thanks to the things that have happened, or are currently happening in my life. But I'm not sure that I would say it makes me grateful for them.

Some Flavors were not meant to be Mixed

This is just scary.
I see four different flavors.

Lemon
Milk
Bourbon
Pickle

Now, I'm not entirely sure that the spelling of Bourbon refers to the beverage. But even without it you would still have Pickle to contend with. I like to give everything a try at least once before saying that I won't like it-Heck, I've eaten Lutefisk! (not something I would do again if I were starving) But I'm thinking that I would pass this one up. . .maybe.

Cheese!

She-Ra, Princess of Power, Trys a DIY Wax Kit

This had me in tears and snorting in the effort not to laugh out loud at work (which, I'm sure you know, only makes things worse) WARNING!! This is a story about waxing-specifically, some of the more sensitive areas of the body where you might want hair removed. So it will mention said parts. But it is damn funny. Thanks to TokayTessie for sending it too me



All hair removal methods have tricked us with their promises of easy, painless removal - the epilady, scissors, razors, Nair, and now...the wax.

My night began as any other normal weekday night. Come home fix dinner, played with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours: Maybe I should pull the wax out of the medicine cabinet. So I headed to the site of my demise; the bathroom. It was one of those cold wax kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand and then they get warm and you peel them apart press it to your leg (or wherever else) and hair comes right off No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean I'm no girly, girl but I am mechanically inclined enough that I can figure it out.

So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. Cold wax, my rear end (Oh how this phrase haunts me!) I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull. OK so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-ra, fighter of all wayward body hair and smooth skin extraordinaire. With my next wax strip I move north.

After checking on the kids I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure I apply the wax strip across the right side of bikini line, covering the right half of my vagina and stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek (Yes, it was a long strip) I inhale deeply and brace myself. RRRRIIIPPP!!!! I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!....OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!! Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half of the strip. I take another deep breath and RIP. Everything is swirley and spotted. Do I hear crashing drums??? OK, back to normal. I want to see my trophy - A wax covered strip with my hairy pelt that has caused me so much pain, sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip! There's no hair on it. Where is the hair? WHERE IS THE WAX???

Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair that should be on the strip. I touch. I am touching wax. I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then I make the next BIG mistake...................remember my foot is still propped up on the toilet. I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down. DAMN!!!!!!!! I hear the slamming of the cell door. Vagina? Sealed shut. Butt?? Sealed shut. I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself, Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may pop off. Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off right??? *WRONG!!!!!!!*

I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than then that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit. Now, the only thing worse that having your nether businesses glued together is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub, in scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn?t melt cold wax? So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub!! God bless the man that convinced me I should have a phone in the bathroom!!!!! I call my friend thinking surely she's waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter. So, my butt and who-ha are stuck to the bottom of the tub! There is a slight pause. She doesn't have a secret trick but does try to hide the laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located on bottom .Are we talking cheeks or hole or what? She's laughing out loudly now...I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box. YEAH!!!!! Right!! I should be the joke of someone else's night. While we go through various solutions. I resort to scraping the wax off with a razor. Nothing feels better then to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry shaving the sticky wax off!!

By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I slip into glazed donut land. My friend is still talking with me and my hand reaches towards the saving grace....the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax. What do I really have to lose at this point? I rub some on and OH MY GOD!!!!!!! The scream probably woke the kids, scared the dickens out of my friend, but I really don't care. IT WORKS!! It works!! I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up... I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and despair...THE HAIR IS STILL THERE...ALL OF IT! So I shaved it off. Heck, I'm numb at this point. Next week I?m going to try hair color......

For the Fashionable Male in Your Life

Or woman, I guess. One of these days I'll do a real post again, ya know, when I have time. But till then. . . THINK testicles

Cheese!

Too much truth in advertising

I appreciate modesty, and it is best to be honest whenever possible. But sometimes it is best to keep your mouth shut about the quality of your product. I wonder if they were aiming for any particular word, since I doubt that they really wanted to be known as "The Vomit". Maybe they cater to bulimics?

Sleepy this morning-and lots to do.

Cheese!

I'll find it. . . Eventually

I left work early yesterday. Aren't migranes fun? Since I started working here at the end of May I've only left work twice, and both times my employer has asked me if they could give me a ride home. I guess when you look as miserable as I do when I don't feel well you just can't wait for them to leave. :D Luckily I think that I'll be fine tonight. If not being on stage with all of those bright lights, uncomfortable clothing, and loud voices is going to be really fun. Unfortunately this has left me even more lost and confused at work than I was yesterday. And I need to finish the book that I'm reading so I stop trying to pick it up. Dang Book.-

Engrish.com is still making me laugh- and my little brother showed me stupid-videos.com-The old Swarzenegger adds from Japan are absolutely bizarre. (I'll check that link later, really I will)

Nerds, I am one of them, and so are you.

We are the future, you cannot resist us.















I wonder if there were always nerds throughout the centuries. Was he the ancient Egyptian with the overbite and a collar made by his Mom that said "my Hieroglyphics are more uniform than yours"? Was he the guy running around the renaissance with breeches too short, shoes too long, and carrying the newest import from the east, the abacus? Was there a Neanderthal that learned how to make the first daisy chain for a female he liked, only to have it crushed beneath the impressively heavy rock of a "cooler" male? Maybe that's the real reason why St Paul (I think) embraced celibacy, and encouraged others to it. Perhaps he had been rejected so many times he just started saying that this was the way he preferred to live. Or maybe he just had trouble producing testosterone-I dunno. Anyway, Long live the Nerds!!

Cheese!

Sometimes you really need cute

Each day, and the living of it, has to be a conscious creation in which discipline and order are relieved with some play and pure foolishness.-May Sarton

Proof, it sucks to be a Monk

If you are going to be a monk, it seems like one of the best places to be would be a monastary with a brewery. Right?

That is until your brew is declared the best in the world.

After all this isn't exactly the Budweiser plant out in Fairmont (? is that right-I've only driven by)

Best Beer in the world = Empty Stiens.

guess they'll be drinking water for a while.

Some people should just know when to stop

I just wonder, are those earrings or are they counter-weights to keep the scaffolding on her head.

But honestly, How old is this woman? Last I read she is over Fifty with no surgical "improvements". Man, if you could bottle that you'd make a fortune. Not that she really needs the money.

Cheese!

I will master this blog. . .thingy

How to get rid of your parents (I had to use something)

OOOhhh, did it work?


Thank You Shan'Chelle!!!

One try too!!

Once again forbidden to dance-it's too easy for other people to see what I'm doing in my cubicle.

Yay! Thank You!

Jinguru Berus, Jinguru Berus, Jinguru awhh da wayeee

So, linked to the bad-tattoo Japanese/Chinese website from yesterday was this little gem:
www.engrish.com

Most people are aware that words are not always easy to translate from one language to another. This site showcases some of the most bizzare things to be formed into a sentence. There are a few tattoos as well, proving you don't have to be white to get a stupid marking you can't understand. I just wonder how they get these words together. At least my Dad's favorite experience with poor translation makes sense:

At one time the Music Box sold keyboards. (They still do sometimes around the holidays) One particular model imported from Japan-I believe it may have been a Yamaha-but I'm not sure. Had legs that you attached to the main body, so you didn't need a stand after it was assembled. Which is a good idea right? Unfortunatly a mistake was noticed when the floor model was being assembled. . . The legs of the keyboard had to be attached with Screws. And what does one do with a screw??? (Hint: you don't hammer it) I believe the proper verb is screw, as in "screw the 3/4 screw into slot B." Do you see where this is going? The verb "screw" describes more than one type of action, apparently this also applies in Japanese. Because the written directions asked you to "firmly F$^k the legs to the base of the instrument" In fact anytime the word "screw" should have been used, "F*&k" was used instead. Really

I just discovered something. If you put "F*" and "@k" together it creates a link. I'm not sure I want to know where this link would go. Yup I'm chicken, I admit it. Enjoy the mangled English.

I love curry, and hamsters are very cute, but I don't think that there is a hamster cheerful enough to get me to buy this product.







As my husband will tell you, I am also afraid of hurt. Great, I have something in common with a lawn.
Apparently I was wrong about there being many boxes big enough for the Walrus to be tossed into like Scrappy-doo. At least this one is labeled "black" so you should be safe.

More jokes I stole

THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Innovative
2. Preliminary
3. Proliferation
4. Cinnamon

THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Specificiy
2. British Constitution
3. Passive-aggressive disorder

THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK
1. Thanks, but I don't want to have sex.
2. Nope, no more beer for me.
3. Sorry, but you're not really my type.
4. Good evening, officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight?
5. Oh, I couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing.


Four married guys go fishing. After an hour, the following conversation took place:

First guy: "You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out fishing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend."

Second guy: "That's nothing, I had to promise my wife that I will build her a new deck for the pool."

Third guy: "Man, you both have it easy! I had to promise my wife that I will remodel the kitchen for her."

They continue to fish when they realized that the fourth guy has not said a word. So they asked him.. "You haven't said anything about what you had to do to be able to come fishing this weekend. What's the deal?"
Fourth guy: "I just set my alarm for 5:30 am. When it went off, I shut off my alarm, gave the wife a nudge and said, "Fishing or sex?" and she said, "Wear sun-block."



WHY DO MEN PEE STANDING UP??
God was just about done creating humans, but he had two parts left over and couldn't quite decide how to split them between Adam and Eve. He thought He might just as well ask them. He told them one of the things He had left was a thing that would allow the owner to pee while standing up. "It's a very handy thing," God told them, "and I was wondering if either one of you had a preference for it."
Well, Adam jumped up and down and begged, "Oh, please give that to me! I'd love to be able to do that! It seems like just the sort of thing a man should have. Please! Pleeease! Give it to me!"
On and on he went like an excited little boy. Eve just smiled and told God that if Adam really wanted it so badly, he could have it. So God gave Adam the thing that allowed him to pee standing up.
Adam was so excited he just started whizzing all over the place - first on the side of a rock, then he wrote his name in the sand, and then he tried to see if he could hit a stump ten feet away - laughing with delight all the while.
God and Eve watched him with amusement and then God said to Eve, "Well, I guess you're kind of stuck with the last thing I have left."
"What's it called?" asked Eve.
"Brains," said God


why females should avoid a girls night out after they are married!

The other night I was invited out for a night with "the girls." I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, "I promise!" Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easy.
Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him. (Even when totally smashed...3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals 12 cuckoos = MIDNIGHT!)
The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, and I told him "Midnight". He didn't seem pissed off at all. Whew! Got away with that one! Then he said, "We need a new cuckoo clock."
When I asked him why?, he said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said, "Oh, Shit," cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted


(No fair making me laugh at work Lace!)

Joke 'n stuff

I'm Sorry, It made ME laugh.



Joke:

A cardiac specialist died and at his funeral the coffin was placed in front of a huge mock up of a heart, made up of flowers. When the pastor finished with the sermon and eulogy, and after everyone said their good-byes, the heart opened, the coffin rolled inside, and the heart closed.
Just then one of the mourners burst into laughter.
The guy next to him asked: "Why are you laughing?"
"I was thinking about my own funeral" the man replied.
"What's so funny about that?"
"I'm a gynecologist.

Stuff:

Tattoo
This site was mentioned on the comic I am currently reading:
http://www.hanzismatter.com/
It just proves what I have always said: Make sure you know what it says! I studied Japanese in High School for four years, which by no means makes me an expert. But I have seen one or two ridiculous things on t-shirts or tattoos that even I know is not right. I mean, I know that everyone has heard the story about the guy who went in to get something stupid (in my opinion) like "Stud" or "Powerful" or "King" tattooed on. And instead the poor doofus has something more like "Dumb Ass" permanently on his bicep. This site is all about that breed of doofus. You can be sure that I would check as many resources as I could find before trusting someone to put something I couldn't understand into my skin.
One day I really will get my little dragon tattooed somewhere on my body! Since I drew it I'm not worried about it being some obscure symbol for "Crack Whore". But until then, it's fun to look.

2 Years!
Rich and I got married two years ago yesterday! I really can't believe it since I never really expected to develop a long term relationship in my life. I thought that I would end up just like my Mother, and while I think that my Father is one of the most admirable men in existence. I didn't want anyone to have to live through what he is currently experiencing for my sake. But heck, ya meet a guy doing Karaoke and all that stuff changes. I don't think that I would even have gone through the genetic testing yet if he hadn't been with me. I love him more now than I did then-I deserve it, and. . .I guess he does too. ;)

Politics/Religion
I'm not one to spout about my beliefs in either area in most cases. If only because I often don't think that it's worth the effort. The majority of my friends don't share my ideas in one or both areas. I'll tell you about my beliefs if you ask, but they are mine, and don't always coincide with what the establishment says. I go to church, yes, but the thing that keeps me coming back is singing in the choir. Not arguing with fat balding men about who is risking hell by doing what. (yes I have done that-a few times-I do not think that religion and logic are mutually exclusive, dang) And when it comes to politics-I really don't care enough to argue. Because anyone who is willing to try to out-argue me (he-he) isn't going to have their mind changed by my opinion-so I don't see the point.

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.-Mark Twain


Shit! Did I end on a down-note? eh, go look at the Star Wars/Trek crossover again and try to figure out what William Shatner might be saying, then you'll giggle again.

Cheese!
MDragon

Yes, I can be a ditz

So between the picture I just posted and a brain fart while posting a comment on Christina's blog I was reminded of a story. (and this does slightly involve my hubby, so I hope he won't mind)

So Rich had just finished a major undertaking. Ya know, one of those things that you really were hoping you could spend your life without. But sometimes life just sucks and you gotta go through it anyway (that reminds me-the registration on the car that isn't working is coming due, ugh.) And anyway, there we were in the van driving away, relieved that everything had gone as planned. On the left side of the road was an open field and to our right was a low grassy ridge separating the road from the parking lots. Rich was driving and I felt the need to tell him how proud I was of what he had just gone through. It went something like:

"Babe, I just need to tell you how proud I am of you right now. I know that it wasn't easy, and that you hated the people you were with but now KITTY! (Look brightly at mystified husband) Pretty Kitty!"

Yup, sitting on the little hill on my side of the car was a young cream colored cat with chocolate points. I still can remember it quite well, wondering where it had come from, since it was too well bred to be feral.

I turned back to my husband with a big smile, and slowly reality dawned. I had been RIGHT in the MIDDLE of telling him something important to both of us, when my mind had suddenly decided to do the equivalent of stripping down and running naked through the sprinklers. Now I'll ask you what you would have done in that situation? When you suddenly realize that the sprinklers you've been running through are situated directly between a television news studio, and a courthouse. . . For me, the only option was, Laugh. Anytime I find myself embarrassed over something stupid I've done or said (as long as it doesn't' Really Hurt) I try to be the first one to laugh.

At first, Rich was not so amused. But I started apologizing my ass off and laughing the whole time about how AMAZINGLY stupid that was. It was like my brain had gone into the back room just in time for the baby to get into the pudding and unroll the toilet paper all at once. The Brain knows that something bad has happened, but has NO IDEA how it came about.

I just feel lucky that his sense of humor won out and I wasn't given the silent treatment for the next few days. Instead it is a perfect example of how my brain is kinda like Velma on Scooby Doo. She was always right there, until you turned around-and then she was gone. Through a trap door, or revolving wall. But just gone until she found her way back into the story again. Yup that's my brain-Velma.

Ph34r teh Cut3 Ones

What more can I say?


Wooohoo! It only took me about six trys to get it up as my profile pix! I'd do a little dance, but I'm at work and I think that they'd dissaprove.

Cheese!

ZEN SARCASM

TokayTessie sent me this one.



1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.

3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.

6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.  That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

9. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.

14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

16. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

17. Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

19. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

20. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

21. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

22. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night

Stop and Think

Just stop and think about it for a second, or two.

If we could see the miracle of a single flower clearly, our whole life would change.-Buddha


Just think.

Hurricane Help

So I know that most of us are Super Lazy when it comes to donating. It's not like we don't want to, or are greedy (most of the time) It's more like we just don't want to take the time to do it. But I have found an answer. Your Local Coinstar machine.

Apparently you can donate money to a number of different charities, including the Red Cross, through most of the machines you'll find in your local grocery store. And Coinstar doesn't charge a fee, so 100% of the donation goes to the charity. According to the Red Cross, if just HALF of the people living within 2 miles of a coinstar machine would donate $1 it would raise more than $65 Million dollars, now thats a lot of pennies. Not all of the stores allow donations on their property though so at the bottom of this post is a link to the Coinstar website. It can tell you the location of the Machines, if they accept donations, and to which charities. In Lodi, Raley's, Albertson's, and Save Mart all accept donations at their machines. I mean, if you just took a few seconds to dump your change in as you left the grocery store how much would you have donated by the end of the month?

There are no politics involved in this tragedy, just people. So empty your couch and look under the floormats of the car. Even I can spare a dollar in loose change for someone who has lost everything.

What to do when Chased by a Monster

I love webcomics. It's great to have something that updates daily (or less often) that actually reflects your tastes. I still read most newspaper comics when I get the chance, but I enjoy being able to read my favorites and skip over the rest. And when it comes to webcomics there are hundreds to choose from. Some are wonderful works of art, some are funny, others have plot lines up the wazoo. Some are shit. There was one that I read, went through the archives, kept up-to-date with it for a few months. I mean after all it was a fairly new comic and the summary the author had written outlining where they planned to take the story got me interested. . .But it sucked in so many ways (art, character development, actually having a point, art) that I stopped reading it. I almost feel bad, leaving it behind like that, but I have so many others that have, I don't know. . . Value.

Speaking of. . .Today's posting of "Commissioned" struck me in a wonderful way. "What to do when chased by a Monster" My Husband and I like watching Thrillers and the occasional Horror movie, but we are always left feeling like there could have been more. They so often suffer from bad acting it's true, and often special effects that look like they were developed on the "Special" Bus (if you get my drift) But it seems to me that the most rediculous thing is when you feel the need to yell at the character-or say to the person sitting next to you, some thing like: "NO!! don't go in there! What are you a f&*#ing MORON! Doesn't the BLOODY HANDPRINT on the door give you a hint???? Why didn't you just leave and not come back after you found the cat nailed to the wall and "GET OUT spelled out in it's entrails??" You might like to think that the character is smart because they figured out the cause and how to stop it. . . but wouldn't a really smart person have said "F*#% this Shit" and left after the first 20 minutes?

That said, We were lucky enough to be invited over to watch Movies with the Oglethorpes last night (did I spell that right?) "Shawn of the Dead" was much more fun for me the second time around-both because I could understand it better, and because these people are not stingy with the laughter. And I think there was only one moment where I really wanted to grab a character by the hair and ask"what is wrong with your brain?" Though I admit the "Zombies" from "28 Days Later" are my favorites. They run after you like starving hyenas that are going to eat the flesh off your arm like corn off a cob.

Anyway Commissioned today is about the stupid behaviors exhibited in horror movies. And if you do go take a look at the rant-after all, it did inspire me to ramble for this long on my own.

And thank you to everyone for inviting us last night, and especially to Christina for giving me that copy of the Avenue Q Soundtrack (and Tony for copying it!)

Cheese!
MDragon

You can dance if you want to

Unless you're a Nun. Here she is, the infamous trollop of a Sister who had the audacity to DANCE onstage at a festival. Now come-on! I know that she is about to straddle this man at the hips-but look at the girl's legs. I bet they haven't see the light of day in years. I mean the entire outfit just screams "Ready For Sin" doesn't it? I know nothing turns my husband on like Army-green hiking boots. Somebody needs to give Mother Superior a copy of "Sister Act".