Monday, October 31, 2005

Truly scary

I think that there are a few times a parent should say "No" to a costume idea. This is one. I don't know, but to me a little kid in a grey suit with a "beatle" wig is cute. This is wrong. Not as wrong as a child dressed up as Michael Jackson, but still wrong.
The really scary thing is that I found this picture months ago. I was just waiting for a "cousins shouldn't marry" joke to come to mind.



Cheese!

Happy Halloween!!

This was really easy to make, and everyone got a kick out of it. I don't know that everyone had the courage to eat it, but it was very good. Even my husband had fun melting a tootsie roll into a puddle to put on top. I'll try to post a picture of it later.

And we had a wonderful time at the annual horror movie marathon. I was a cow. . . moooooOOOoo.


Cat Box Cake

CAKE INGREDIENTS:
1 box spice or German chocolate cake mix
1 box of white cake mix
1 package white sandwich cookies
1 large package vanilla instant pudding mix
A few drops green food coloring
12 small Tootsie Rolls or equivalent

SERVING "DISHES AND UTENSILS"

1 NEW cat-litter box
1 NEW cat-litter box liner
1 NEW pooper scooper

1) Prepare and bake cake mixes, according to directions, in any size pan. Prepare pudding and chill. Crumble cookies in small batches in blender or food processor. Add a few drops of green food coloring to 1 cup of cookie crumbs. Mix with a fork or shake in a jar. Set aside.
2) When cakes are at room temperature, crumble them into a large bowl. Toss with half of the remaining cookie crumbs and enough pudding to make the mixture moist but not soggy. Place liner in litter box and pour in mixture.
3) Unwrap 3 Tootsie Rolls and heat in a microwave until soft and pliable. Shape the blunt ends into slightly curved points. Repeat with three more rolls. Bury the rolls decoratively in the cake mixture. Sprinkle remaining white cookie crumbs over the mixture, then scatter green crumbs lightly over top.
4) Heat 5 more Tootsie Rolls until almost melted. Scrape them on top of the cake and sprinkle with crumbs from the litter box. Heat the remaining Tootsie Roll until pliable and hang it over the edge of the box. Place box on a sheet of newspaper and serve with scooper. Enjoy!

Cheese!

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Cheese for everyone!

Ah, cramps. Gotta love 'em. On the bright side it means Rich and I have ducked parenthood for another month. If I had been smart I would have invested in Norplant or something. But Rich thinks I'm insane enough without it. :D

anyway, Fun...


An observant Jew called Jacob finds himself in dire trouble. His business has gone bust and he's in serious financial trouble. He's so desperate that he decides to ask God for help.

He goes into the synagogue and begins to pray: "God, please help me, I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well, please let me win the lotto."

Lotto night comes and somebody else wins it. Jacob goes back to the synagogue: "God, please let me win the lotto, I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well."Lotto night comes a second time and Jacob still has no luck! Back to the synagogue again, Jacob asks: "My God, why have you forsaken me? I've lost my business, my house, my car and my wife and my children are starving. I don't often ask you for help and I have always been a good servant to you. Why won't you just let me win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in order?"

Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open and Jacob is confronted by the voice of God himself:

"JACOB, MEET ME HALF WAY ON THIS ONE....BUY A LOTTO TICKET."



Once there was an old rich man who was afraid of dying and leaving all his wealth behind on earth. So, he took up the matter with God. He pleaded day and night to be able to take all his earthly possessions with him.

Finally, God conceded. He said the man could take as much as he could fit in one suitcase. The old man immediately went out, bought a huge suitcase, sold all he owned and filled the suitcase with gold bars.

Shortly after that, the old man died. Awkwardly dragging the big, heavy suitcase, he approached St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter stopped him, asked him to open his luggage, and then told him he couldn't bring his gold bars into Heaven.The man was irate. "You don't understand," he said. "I got permission directly from God himself for this. He told me whatever I could fit into one suitcase, I could bring with me."

St. Peter, shrugged his shoulders and simply said, "Fine with me. But we've already got plenty of pavement here."

Just goes to show you, nothing has the same value everywhere. I like that idea.


And some wise words from Lucy that I need to keep in mind:


Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.

-Lucille Ball

Friday, October 21, 2005

New Comic: Queen of Wands

So for some terrible reason I have had the "Captian Planet" theme running through my head for the last week or so. I even came up with a funny idea that I just don't have time to draw. Something along the lines of a superhero convention with everyone making fun of the entire premise of the Blue Mullet Man. So I ran across a new comic that I'm really enjoying (I'm afraid of how much I might be like Kestral) When I ran across This strip. Darwin and a chainsaw >D

Another followed a few weeks later that Perfectly Illustrated why I hate retail.

And Just one reason The cats aren't allowed in the bedroom. It really has happened. :)

Thursday, October 20, 2005

Sometimes they can almost see your mood coming.


It's a beautiful, but I don't think I'd like to look out of my window and see Wilma on her way.

Rich got me sick.

At least it was just in a "feel like crap that has been smacked with a hammer" and nauseated for 18 hours way. I don't feel great now, but that will go away too.

Started gritting my teeth again yesterday and did something mildly unpleasant to my left TMJ. At least the swelling seems to be mild this time. Here's some genuine hoping that no-one pisses me off again today. I have trouble noticing that I'm hurting myself when I'm imagining hurting other people. I really don't want to have to spend another three weeks on a soft diet. Even pudding gets old.

Fucking Nuts, I long for a grapefruit.

Friday, October 14, 2005

Smug

There's nothing like seeing a jerk get in trouble to improve your mood.

Since they closed Lower Sac for repairs the drive in the morning has gotten longer. And though Davis is a little farter away, it makes up for it in a LOT less traffic overall. But 12 can be a bit on the crowded (if still going 65) side. So you drive a little cautiously-because you know they refer to it as "Blood Alley" for good reason, and people are stupid. When ,you look in the rear view mirror, and right on cue an idiot in a white car pulls right up to your bumper. You hope that you showered well this morning 'cause their nose is up your ass. There is a stream of cars going by to your left, so this intelligent person decides to put his car half in the dirt to pass you on the right and wedge himself in between you and the little red car in front of you. Asshole. Then seeing a gap in oncoming traffic the white car passes the red car on the left.
Rich was driving-and this is what was going through his head:

"That's a really stupid thing to do seeing how many cops. . .there. . ."

All of the cars moved to the side of the road as a police car twinkled on by. And just before we got to the turn lane for Davis, there was the cop, parked behind a certian white car.

yup, smug

after all those times where you really wish there had been a cop to see how some jerk cut you off, FINALLY one got caught.

I could, say just in case I happen to know the person driving the car, and they happen to read this, that I don't mean to cause offense.

But I would be lying.

And I think that the white car got exactly what he deserved, and I think fines in that area may even be a little higher because of the high accident rate.

Smug is a warm cuddly blanket at the moment, all I need is some cocoa.

(devilish laugh)

Thursday, October 13, 2005

Rumors ARE stupid, send me your money.

The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook.-William James

Sometimes people are just bizarre. I had a great time at Chilis' last night-it was even worth driving there in my little brother's car. Which is borderline taking-my-life-in-my-hands. Between the headlight that has been out since last winter, the fact that it feels like it's going to shake apart at "high" speeds, and his reluctance to clean the sap from the birch tree off of his windshield-I wasn't happy. Sleepy, but not happy. But I showed up when I was invited. I do so LOVE to be invited to do. . .Just about anything.

"Hey, ya wanna sit in a room and breathe?"
"Just breathe?"
"Yup"
"Nothing Else?"
"Yup"
...
"Ok, sounds like fun!"

And just so you know-I adore the "Shanghai Wings" at Chilis'. My husband and I agreed that it's kind of like sushi without the raw fish. I love sushi. But its easier to get a big group of people to go to Chilis' than, say, Matsuyama's. And cheaper in the long run. Ginger and Wasabi, YUMMY!

Anyway, I just find it strange that people seem capable of believing anything they hear. Even when it goes against what the person in question says, and everything you have seen them do. Maybe I can start a few rumors. . .

BRAD PITT HAS LEFT ANGELINA JOLIE FOR A FLING WITH A CHINOOK SALMON!!!
MOTHER THERESA HAS BEEN SUMMONED FROM THE UNDERWORLD TO DROWN PUPPIES!!
THE MOVIE "THE CAT FROM OUTER SPACE" WAS TRUE AND THE INVASION HAS BEGUN!!!!

AND ALL OF THOSE PEOPLE WHO SPEND INSANE AMOUNTS OF MONEY ON MAKING THEIR CARS LOOK LIKE A SWISS ARMY KNIFE MATED WITH A DISCO BALL, ARE GOING TO SEND ME ALL THE CASH THEY WOULD HAVE WASTED ON FURTHER MORONIC MODIFICATIONS!!!!!!!

I'm hoping the last one takes off.

Cheese!

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Vocal Warmup and a Two-minute drawing


What a to-do
to die today
at a minute or two to two
a thing distinctly hard to say
yet harder still to do
for they'll beat a tattoo
at twenty to two
with a
ra-ta-ta ta-ta-ta ta-ta-ta too
and the Dragon will come
when he hears the drum
at a minute or two to two today
at a minute or two to two.

Friday, October 07, 2005

Grandma will always be with you. . .Really


So, there is now a company that will take cremated human remains and make them into a diamond.

yup

I'm not sure whether that is cool or just creepy. And what happens if years later you decide to sell it? Do you run the risk of being arrested for selling human remains?

Cheese!

Thursday, October 06, 2005

You squished my Jello

The bird of paradise alights only on the hand that does not grasp.-John Berry


Life is like Jello-the harder you squeeze it, the more it escapes your grasp.

And please remember, to some people, friendship is more important than money.

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Since we're all on the subject of Cats


So if you have a pet I'm sure that you also have a few toys for that pet. The most popular one in our house is a bunch of streamers on a mini "fishing" pole that cost all of $2 at Wal Mart. We've been through two of these-in between loosing them. If you leave it where Churro could find it he'd drag it around the house with him.

So one day Rich and I were in the clearance isle at the grocery store when we saw some sort of "Electronic Pet" similar to the one pictured above. Voice activated, makes a bunch of different sounds, and runs around on it's own. Sounds like a fun thing to stick in front of a cat right? The cats would sit and stare at this thing when we'd make it move around, and when it stopped they would smack it with one paw and then run away like a first grader with a crush. I guess the relationship worked out. . . we haven't seen the mouse since we went to bed that night.

The more I think about it, the more I realize there is nothing more artistic than to love others-Vincent Van Gogh

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

I eat you


Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter what fork you use.-Emily Post


just grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrRRRRrrrrrr!

Monday, October 03, 2005

Back to Cheese!

I wish my cats could do that! On second thought. . .Churro is so fat he would probably cause your arm to fall off, nevermind. All my cats seem to be good for is eating something they shouldn' t and then throwing up all over the house-yay for no carpets! That and unrolling the toilet paper.


Seriously, Churro is so fat that the other night I was standing in the kitchen talking to my father when the cat decides he wants to get in a box that is sitting on the floor. It's not a very big box-just about armpit high for the cat. So he just steps inside. . .and then trys to step his hind legs in. . . but the box is just a little too high. So my Dad and I sit there and chuckle as the cat trys to lift one leg, and then the other into the box without success. You might be wondering where "fat" comes into the equation. . . Well, when the cat finally gave up on getting his hind legs into the box he stepped over the nearest edge of the box-not the same one the came over in the first place. He was twisting around a corner-legs outside the box-canteloupe sized stomach inside the box. When he realized that he was still stuck he then tried to run away-dragging the box along with him. Dad and I were laughing so hard by now that we didn't even see how he got out- we were both too busy try to breathe.

Yup, had a good weekend. . .

and just so you know, if your first thought when going to a stand-up comedy act is "Couldn't they have come up with a better title than that?" The answer is NO, and they probably think that it's very clever. . . not a place to be. Unless you have a bunch of friends showing up and can kick their ass in Cranium later.

Cheese!