So I was listening to the radio this morning on the way to work, and they were talking about their "Top 5- Worst Rejections". And I was very close to calling in with an event that transpired over the weekend. But then I remembered "wiener Wednesday". Where you submit stories of how you've been wronged, or wronged someone else, in hopes of winning prizes.
wish me luck.
Dear Shawn and Jeff,
I was not present at this prime example of Weinerdom. But, a witness has confirmed the events, and as you will see, I have every right to humiliate the Weiner as far as I see fit.
Saturday night was the closing of a show I was doing sound for at a local theater. And apparently a crush had developed. "Bambi" decided to write down her phone number and give it to "Ryan". Using a piece of tissue, she tucked it in the back of his shirt, as if his tag had been sticking out. Later when he was getting ready for the show it fell out. Another actress was standing there and told him it wasn't hers, but it sure looked like someone's lip-liner. Later "Bambi" joined them. "Ryan" recognized the first three digits of the number and asked:
"Bambi, do you have AT&T?" She nods.
"Did you stick your phone number in my shirt?" She nods, a little slower and kind-of coyly.
"Ryan" crumpled the paper into a little ball, and pressed it to her lips, trying to shove it in her mouth, before storming off in complete disgust. Leaving "Bambi" behind, with the other actress, who was trying desperately not to laugh. Poor "Bambi" seemed a little depressed the rest of the night.
Where do I fit in? The day after Christmas I found out I was pregnant. That would make it a month of everyone in the theater, including "Bambi", offering congratulations, advice, and talking about baby showers, to me . . .and my husband of two years, "Ryan".
My only regret is that I was not told until after we got home. Preventing me from humiliating her in front of the party we all attended later that night. Maybe I'm a wiener for wanting to verbally decimate her in public, but I can't wait till I see her again.
Signed,
A Smug Mother-To-Be
One of my favorite parts, that didn't really fit in the story, was about how the other actress involved had been dating someone who turned out to be a major scumbag. We all agreed that this man was absolute filth because while he was out playing with her, he had a pregnant wife at home. Yup, even Ch. . . "Bambi", said he was slime.
Who's the slime now?
2 comments:
Oh mi...I can just picture it. That is so awful its funny. Good thing you weren't told...she would have been crying :-)
Shan'chelle - That's exactly why he didn't tell me. At that point I would have ripped into her for all it was worth. And while it would have been fun. . . I'll behave myself a LITTLE better.
But Isn't it great? I now have no reason to EVER be nice to her again. Polite might be pushing it depending on my mood. :)
Lemorse- Which is why I'm so glad that my Husband is well-behaved. I mean, do you KNOW what kind of birth defects syphalis can cause?
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